Harold Pinter, Gunter Grass, Doris Lessing, Andre Gide, William Golding, Bertrand Russell, Orhan Pamuk, Toni Morrison, Ernest Hemingway, Wole Soyinka
Samuel Cortez invented the first Naval long gun. His prototypes would burst into flames and the fire would char old Sam’s eyebrows leaving the ship in terrible shape. On receiving a telegram from the king of She mounted his new invention on his ship and joined an armada to the Pacific. The sight of the Gun terrified the natives of the grasslands and Sam the conquistador island hopped his way across the Isles single handledly enslaving everyone over 50. Later realizing that the telegram had meant “Gold” not “Old”, he undertook another voyage to return the elders to the natives and rob them of their gold.
On his death bed he called in his son Albert to light candles and read from the Gideons Bible. “Son”, he said “I now realize how ill I am“. His obsession with refining gold ingots had taken a toll on his health. He had tried everything from melting them down to sending them to Europes finest finishing schools.
After his death, Albert ran downtown’s only bar ‘Citrus‘, selling drinks to broadway actors. Even during the depression the Cortez family lead a lavish lifestype. A typical dinner consisted of Lobster Thermidor, hand picked truffles, smoked spam ukranian style, soup made from weaver nests and braised bearclaws done traditionally in the Ming way of cooking. He drank vodka and tonic and drove a classic white morris on weekends. His son Sam Jr, ashamed of the family’s past, became an artist and drew oleanders and lilacs on greeting cards. These cards used rice paper and soy ink and were edible.
The last 3 winners have been de-throned! The competition gets intense.
Achyutha Anantha Murthy [if you are wondering, Achyutha (the winner) is not the same as Achyut (the onnicle creator)]
Avinash Jhunjhunwala (he would like to thank his parents, his fingers and the internet (not necessarily in that order) – winning this challenge would not have been possible without them)
Shreyon Moniz (double whammy for this metal-head – winner of this week and onnicle contributor for the next)
Saluting the efforts of our good friends who broke their back before they could break the code:
Mihirsmom (real name?), Varsha, Mudita Jaitly, Vipin Savai, Sangeeta Shroff, Brotin Das, Shweta Poddar